Enduring Transitions
Did you know that it’s normal to feel and walk through grief at sudden life changes? Not that it even has to be a traumatic life change- simply unplanned, unanticipated, and causing life to turn upside down.
For example- having a new baby, maybe sooner than expected, which is such a joy, but may change your life plans (like a career, financial position, and more) and cause you to have to switch gears.
Maybe you’re moving to or from a place you’d just settled into, or have been comfortable staying in for years or decades, and now you’re moving somewhere new, where you have no friends or community but are surrounded by strangers.
Grief is welcome; did you know that?
While grief is welcome, as Christians we’re still called to enduring our longsuffering with joy and worship. I know, that doesn’t even sound like that should be a sentence, but it’s the truth!
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:4-7
When we find ourselves an unexpected transition, we have to make a choice to choose joy. We can choose to seek out the things that bring light and life into our circumstance, or we can choose to mellow in isolation and darkness.
For me, choosing light looks like writing out things I am grateful for, even if they are small and mundane ( my home, access to healthy food, running water…) and soon that list begins to grow and morph into beautiful memories and blessings, prompting me to repent in forgiveness to the Father for not giving more thanks to the many opportunities and provisions He’s given to begin with.
“ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”- Philippians 4: 8-9
When I’ve found myself at the depths of my despair in some of my most extreme transitions, for example- following a call from God to sell everything we owned to move to a new city I vowed I’d never agree to move to- this verse changed my entire perspective on transitions.
I realized how my thoughts have so much more leverage on my life outcomes than I realized. When I focused on the negatives of my new city, my heart became so hardened against the opportunities available to seek its beauty.
I remember one day, while living with family shortly after moving to our new city, my husband and I got a rare opportunity to spend a Saturday together, so we went to visit the State park in town with our son. It was the edge of springtime, still a bit chilly, and I dressed our son in a vintage sweater lent by my mom, and took a sweet picture of him in it. I looked at the photo later and was astounded at how beautiful our surroundings were even in the bleak winter weather.
I realized I had so much power to choose to focus on God’s good creation, almost to the point were I felt crazy. I could choose to see between my tears of homesickness to the peace and tranquility of the pines forests surrounding me. I could mourn leaving my closest friends while getting to know a new friend over coffee and cinnamon rolls. I could miss my freedom of living in my own house, while being a grateful servant to my in-laws who opened up their home to us. That presentation of grief for change felt unheard of, but the more I leaned into Philippians 4, the more true this allowance to process my transitions with the Lord became.
